I am magic ..., i am Funny ..my address is a tramp stamp. It will suck if I lose the house ...

Leaving notes with age . My address is my tramp stamp ... It will suck
if I lose the house ....

Meet me at the Pub douglasville Ga

At the Irish Bred Pub dville ga :)

This is the "Best of Everything" from the Worstofanything.com. The Good

Amazing giant size donut. That are absolutely amazing :) Thank you to
the amazing Gina Robertson ( photographer) and Tom Spencer( musician)
for spoiling me:) and being two of the most incredible people I
know !! That is a fact!!!

View from Beyond the Stall.... the National tour of Public Restrooms....and the miscillaneous and ridiculous findings along the way..

Ok so here it is........

TA DA....... The unveiling..... Funny how the silliest things entertain me, and my friends and catch on..... Next is to find a way to up load the pictures taken for me.

The tour is about to begin, the commentary will be fun.... and they say a picture is worth a thousand words, well views at the very least!!!

This is where it begins.... with a Cheeze IT, a motorized bed and the most ridiculous public restrooms in America.......

This is my new journey join me!!!!

How it Began! Don't Hate my Vacation Digs...... otherwise known as... "It all started with a Cheeze It"

This is beyond words......... The hotel was Creepy, I arrived in the middle of the night, had to travel up and around the winding curves of a mountain road..... I am not trying to be poetic.... it was LITERALLY 90 degree angles in the pitch black night!!

So I pull up to the Alpine looking place, wind is whipping it is totally silent..... Dead quiet.... and they left my keys in an envelope on the desk........ No really there was NO ONE at the front desk...... just a bunch of envelopes with room numbers and names..... a serial killer's dream come true, heck when they were done they could just throw me over the mountain.....

Funny this was the first time EVER I tipped toed through a hotel.... hmmmm motel (I am on a budget) Except I still am working with imaginary numbers on the spread sheet.... oh that's a whole different topic!!

So I grab my key.... NO turning back now, it is after all the middle of the night in Banner Elk, North Carolina, not a whole lot of middle of the night accommodation options...... I look at the very detailed map of the premises(I am lying the map was a photo copied piece of paper with two hand drawings of the resort....I use resort very loosely here. ) AND I head towards my room.......

WOW picture this BROWN walls, with the old Bates motel doors, BROWN floors that had seen better days...... smoking was prohibited but evidently vomiting was encouraged... hmmmmm or maybe that was blood...... serial killer paradise I tell ya!! I find the room 216 yes actual room number, enter the room and hmmmmmm I have to say it was not nearly as bad as I had pictured...... Oh I see the Drama filled hallway that was less than appealing made the room look good, ok not good but.....

But then..... yea this is where you have to see the pictures.... absolutely fascinating.....


My Vacation Digs, Don't hate cuz I'm A Diva!!!


The Bed.... I was curious as to why it was NOT against the wall....... then I realized.... see next pic....

Vvvvvrrrrroooooom!

Hmmmmm Evidently the bed Does something......... Not much for aesthetics here at the 4 (not Four) Seasons I see.....

Blast Off!!!!

Ready Set..... Double power... BLAST OFF..... I am a little worried the only clear path seems to be directly into the next room........

A Motor in the back of ya...... Hey that's not a Honda.....

It is self propelled to vault you into dreamland I suppose........ Looks Like a little too much power for me..... hmmm maybe it is an evil government plot..... or a mad scientist..... check on me in the A.M.

Continental breakfast.....

MMMM Imagine my delight when I found a nicely warmed Cheezit in the heating vent....... Kitchen=hotplate which evidently meant....... warm your darn food on the heating vent you DIVA..... Evidently I request too much on my rider..... WHAT is this REALLY??

Awesome... mmmm Plastic Mittens

Awesome plastic mittens!!! Who doesn't love plastic mittens....
And best of all....
Compliments of the management !!! Late night lottery for Collins (T Socks Tupoor, TJC, Tammy or whatever you may call me) luck for the lost....
Yeah go figure.... All the mittens were gone... Too good to be true ... Everyone digs the plastic mitten ... :( 

Organic....one stop

Says one stop but should be last stop .... It is across from the luxury open air "organic " hotel ;)

What happens when you use the bed rockets..

And I thought my last hotel room was bad. This is what happens when you use those bed rockets .... For those following along the view from the stall tour you will get thAt reference :)

Plastic Mittens

Awesome plastic mittens!!! Who doesn't love plastic mittens.... And best of all....
Compliments of the management !!! Late night lottery for Collins (T Socks Tupoor, TJC, Tammy or whatever you may call me) luck for the lost.... Yeah go figure.... All the mittens were gone... Too good to be true ... Everyone digs the plastic mitten ... :(

Hmmmm who has the change...

My first thought is no one living or staying at this place had a quarter or whatever it had gone up to to use this phone

The longest trip........

1million hours later I make it to the teen unit Frankie and banner elk!!

What the Fork?

For those of you who like a secret  fork in the public bathroom.....  

Not so Nice

Really ?? So I walk up to the counter tears still steaming down my face from leaving my daughter. The guy asks what's wrong. Tell him leaving my daughter at school. He says " Lees Mcrae?" " I hope she does not get mixed up with the wrong crowd. All they do is party !!, bad news" really dude really? That did not help!! Nice Thanks though !! Explains why he is at the checkout of the local Service station .. Argh !!

College Life..... tired?

Frankie informed me when I asked what this was for " sleeping on class "

If you gotta go make sure they have HBO....

Yes I turned around for this one. If you gotta go get HBO

Days INN... You might wanna leave the lights on... If They Work

No choice but to leave the light on here ..... Hoping the lightworks

College Students

How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb ????

Super 8 beats Days in for Luxury? huh??

Look the super 8 is the high class place to stay here !! Hoorah!!

Education at It's Finest

Education At It's Finest

Is it a surprise that the school is a warehouse / Giant trailer ???

The North Prevails in this Town... Again

Ahh the north is still winning !! Not in flags here but ....

Hmmm I am a little Frightened! U- TURN!

I swear this is real and I had to turn around !!!

The MOST amazing rest room EVER... Seriously!

This is possibly THE most amazing place I have ever EVER seen. This truly earns the Worst of Anything seal of approval as the Best and the Good category. All real. All free cleanest place ever. Although I did think it was a trick for minute and was waiting for a deranged man with an ax to pop out of the closet. But it never happened!! I am very happy to say...

Woman's surprise that Americana was being taken by the State!! Really?

For Rent... No really it has a sign!

Official Inspection Station.... Inspect What?

Mmm hmm Hoop Cheeze

I seriously just met a woman who told me this little piece of Americana was about to be wiped by the state. She seemed genuinly surprised and distraught. So I asked "why". And she said  "I have no idea " really ma'am none? Well now we know how it all happened , don't we? I mean if no one in the town sees what might be the problem...
   well, ummm. I think I may know. There was a real store, with stocked shelves and a plate glass window with oh duck tape securing a while that was , I don't know 4 FEET??? And the house with the broken windows and holes that had a for rent sign!!

 The end of the building had a bunch of tires.... with a roof... just a roof..... did I mention just a roof?

T

Notice the Duct tape on the Window!

This gem is for rent.... really?

ANd the walls came tumbling down..

Ummm... Spit don't swallow

If you need this .... Then you could not have passed the drivers test ... I'm just sayin

Really?? They have a Cafe.... Nice!

Ok I have just been whst I think may be THE most disgusting public rr ever. Even ants. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a picture of an ant ? Although if smelled clean did they really think the sent of pine sol would confuse us into thinking the caked filth was not there ???

Gender Bender

Interestingly enough the BP at the Winder exit not only has a drainage issue see next pictures but filthy . In addition it has an overt display of role reversal in society today !! Hey. Condoms in the Ladies room and a scale in the mens. Oh but the men can get "lucky " well numbers at least 
That is NOT gonna help!!
Ladies choice all skate all skate. Fluzey
Suck it in man it will make your umm umm smile look bigger.

When crickets attack...

So I try to be a"nature lover" and save the cricket that enters the
house in the wee hours..... Why is a cricket even up at this hour? And
why is he waiting at my door?
So I do my duty to try and save him, capture him and do a "release"
back into the wild.... Or at the very least back onto my porch. Not
because I have a special desire to let more moths in, bur because
someone once told me it was bad luck if I killed a cricket ......
Well so off I go trying to sneak quietly around the house to capture
the green beast ( by beast I mean a smallish size , more than likely a
hyper infant , hence the late hours, or perhaps a dwarfed teen
cricket , which explains the sneaking out. Or rather sneaking in. )
So I am trying to be silent as not to wake up my college age daughter
and her friend , who just drove from NC to surprise me and see my
show. Woot woot.
Live on the main stage.... Tammy ... Tammy to the mainstage.... And
there is the pole... And lord knows , even at my age, I am hanging
onto the stripper hair as long as possible. Until I get to that "short
hair age" not sure what the age is but it happens... Honestly have you
ever seen an old lady with hair to her ass? No I did not think you
had,....
Uh oh all that and wrong stage turns out it isn't my first time as a
stripper on the mainstage ..... It is in fact a comedic performance.
Well come to think of it , it would be comedy either way and perhaps
even more amusing to see me on a stripper pole rather than a mic....
Hopefully both my stand up and strip tease are equally comedic .
So I try to capture the mini cricket . Sneaking up behind it and of
course like with ALL stupid ideas... It attacks. Not the normal I am
gonna jump then hide. But more the I am going to jump and jump and
jump and jump and land on the giant trying to capture me over and
over.... Causing the giant to jump. So now we have me quietly
screaming and jumping. Out of control cricket which I am only saving
because someone told me if I killed a cricket it was bad luck ... I
also don't eat turkey sandwiches for lunch because I have convinced
myself thst I will fall fast asleep if I do....
So jumping noisy lucky cricket , jumping giant screaming
internally .... When I realize it isn't a cricket at all. I look for
Pinocchio or Geppeto and realize it isn't Jimminy at all but a
grasshopper..... So I squished it.... Only bad luck there was for the
grasshopper and the fact I don't drink .... Ha!
Ok no crickets were harmed in the creation of this story ....
T

Bottoms up.....ummm down, nope that's not gonna flush

That had to hurt! New meaning to "feels like I'm pissing glass". Time to see a specialist. Or change drinks! Thanks Ed for the photo. This is a real photo we did not stage this.

Pump it up

Ahhh there is nothing worse than the pressure building up and the nozzle slipping out..... Especially if it doesn't shut off before u can get it back in... 16 in Georgia ?? Wait what are we talking about ? :) multi use message!

Honor System.... No Peeking

Honor system....